A Community of Fighters Post 1

"No, I do not agree with you. I think what you have to say is completely irrelevant and disconcerting."

About this time, you can feel it, can't you?

You begin to breathe a little heavier.
You notice your heart rate pick up.
Your hands maybe even become sweaty.
You try to speak, and your tongue is heavy and numb.
You feel the steam boiling up within....

The air gets 'thicker'.
You begin to get uncomfortable.
You squirm in your seat.
You might even crack a joke, with hopes it eases the tension...

No one understands you.
You speak up, you voice your opinions, and still, on one 'gets you'.
We know your intentions mean well and their is truth in what you say.
You didn't mean for this to happen...

Perhaps one of the most uncomfortable positions to be in is one where conflict is present.

But why? Why is it when people disagree on something, we become...

Taken aback, feeling as if we are being attacked...
or
Awkward position, so we avoid addressing it by joking with hopes that if we ignore it long enough, the tension will go away....
or
We mean well, we spoke our mind, but we think the world is against us...

One of the greatest gifts God has given us is that we are created uniquely. Not one of us is created the same thus, our thoughts are different. We approach situations differently. Some of us have to problem voicing our opinions, while others of us are a little more reserved and not as 'outgoing' with our thoughts. One is not 'better' than the other and we are who we are. What is important in these situations where opposition may occur, is how we respond, how we present ourselves in conflict, and how we articulate what it is we want to express, not only with our words but with our non-verbal as well. Often times we communicate more with our nonverbal than with our verbal. Our nonverbal communication are things like: facial expressions, body movement and postures, gestures, eye contact, touch, and space. All of the before mentioned expressions have the opportunity to change the mood of a conversation as much as words and the tone of ones voice.

Controlling ourselves is quite important too when we dialogue with one another. Again, the importance of keeping our frustrations under control and hidden, is key to having a good conversation. When we do experience frustrations or something we disagree with, instead of rolling our eyes, throwing our hands up, detaching ourselves from the community and sit with our head down, arms folded, perhaps we need to name our frustration and opposing views. When we see conflict arise, one of the worst ways to deal with it is ignoring it and keeping it to ourselves. You see, the fact of the matter is this, when we live in community, we will experience conflict.

Luke 9.46-56

True Greatness

46 An argument arose among them as to which one of them was the greatest. 47But Jesus, aware of their inner thoughts, took a little child and put it by his side, 48and said to them, ‘Whoever welcomes this child in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me; for the least among all of you is the greatest.’
Another Exorcist

49 John answered, ‘Master, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he does not follow with us.’ 50But Jesus said to him, ‘Do not stop him; for whoever is not against you is for you.’

A Samaritan Village Refuses to Receive Jesus

51 When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem. 52And he sent messengers ahead of him. On their way they entered a village of the Samaritans to make ready for him; 53but they did not receive him, because his face was set towards Jerusalem. 54When his disciples James and John saw it, they said, ‘Lord, do you want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them?’* 55But he turned and rebuked them. 56Then* they went on to another village.

Often times we forget we will not always agree with each other. Maybe even at times we forget even those who were with Jesus experience conflict, even within the 12 disciples. What is fascinating about this is that all 3 of the synoptic gospels, Matthew, Mark, and Luke, include this text about the disciples arguing who is the best, greatest, coolest, the ones who's swags are the tightest. They, like us, let their egos get the better of them. They even went as far to say, "Since these folks aren't one of us, can we disown them, stop them, and prevent them from coming to you?" How selfish, right? Jesus holds up the situation and says, "Those who aren't against us, are for us." Although they may not be like us, although they may see the world differently than us, doesn't mean we rule them out and un-friend them on Facebook.

Then there is Paul and Cephas' (Peter) conflict in Galatians...

Paul Rebukes Peter at Antioch
11 But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood self-condemned; 12for until certain people came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But after they came, he drew back and kept himself separate for fear of the circumcision faction. 13And the other Jews joined him in this hypocrisy, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy. 14But when I saw that they were not acting consistently with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas before them all, ‘If you, though a Jew, live like a Gentile and not like a Jew, how can you compel the Gentiles to live like Jews?’

When we live together, no matter how good of friends we may be, no matter how alike we see the world, there will be parts of it we won't see eye to eye with, and this is OK!!

Regardless of who it is you are with and regardless if you agree or disagree with them, we are called to love one another. We are called to speak positively of one another, saying nothing which is slandering to ones character. Gossipping and talking behind one another's back will do nothing but bring on disunity a conflict which is quite uglier than what we have recently experienced. Perhaps we are in difficult seasons right now and yes, maybe so and so and I are not on the best of terms, but we still need them in our community. Their and your voices add to the cacophony of voices which speaks good, hopeful, truthful, and loving words to us, your faith community.

Again, it can't be emphasized enough that when you share life with someone, whether it be your brother or sister, mom and dad, boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, conflict will arise and yes, perhaps fights will occur. As frustrating as this may be, as disheartening as this may be, there is hope and good things can come from such disagreements and perhaps heated arguments. It takes maturity, responsibility and learning/knowing how to fight well with grace.

We find our community in a crucial time in our formation as we have come to realize our differences and as we move out of a long period of what some could call, pseudo-community, we will need to begin to wrestle with what a community looks like when we may not see eye to eye on things.

It'll be tough.
It'll be a long journey.

But it is one we can get through, for God is in the midst of what may appear to be chaos.

After all, it was God who brought order and life from chaos.

Until then, love the face of Christ you see in one another and embrace that which we are experience with maturity and grace.

Peace of Christ to you friends.